"I'm sorry that this has been your life.

I have two days to cram a semester's-worth of gen chem into my brain. I think I can do this. Maybe.

But I do think that being pre-med just isn't what I'm meant to do. As I was explaining to Emily after the Persian exam (she's in my class) I'm a math and science person to a degree--as in, I can do calculus until you start getting into calc III and multi-var stuff; I can do basic physics and basic chemistry and basic biology, but anything beyond that (i.e. college level) and my brain starts imploding. Chem this semester has stressed me out more than anything, and I do NOT think I can bear another semester of it, plus lab. Lab makes me want to collapse into miserable little anti-chem dust balls. Plus, next year I'd have to take intro bio AND organic chemistry with BOTH of those labs, plus 200-level Persian and that intro psych class I want PLUS marching band, and I highly doubt I can fit all that in there or even remain sane while trying to keep all that straight.

SO.

I'm going to explain to my parents that I am no longer pre-med (I mean really, would you really want me as your doctor anyway?) and that I'm dropping chem and the lab next semester and adding the intro psych class, which still has 40 spots left (YAY). Sure I'll only have 13 credits, but this way I have two psych classes, Persian, and fiction writing. What a fabulous semester.

Another thing fueling this decision is my response to stress in the past few weeks--it clearly has NOT been good. Med school and all that is 700 times worse. I would be dead halfway through the first semester.

So anyway.

Browsing around the internet to distract myself, and what do I find?

Apparently Jayma Mays, who plays Emma on Glee, was:
*born in Grundy, Virginia, straight west of Lynchburg
*a student at Radford University, where some of my friends are and the alma mater of my old French teacher
*A PATIENT ON HOUSE?????

WHAT

Yeah, apparently she was Hannah in "Sleeping Dogs Lie." You know which S2 epi I'm talking about. I know you know.

MUST. REWATCH. NAO.

So after lazing around all day (y'know, getting up at ten only to take a two-hour nap four hours later, studying a little and then doing more of nothing) Ellen and I took the ultimate revenge on our anthro books.

We burned them.

Well, not completely. A couple pages got charred and we figured out how to burn holes in the center of the covers, so it was still pretty satisfying. It's going to be interesting explaining to my parents why we can't resell it...I dunno, they made me pay for all my textbooks (goodbye $500...and yet they still told me tonight to be careful how I spend my money because I had some overdraft fees...well maybe if you helped me pay for my effing textbooks...*guh*) so yeah...MY money paid for MY textbooks, ergo I can burn them if I want kthanks.

So wonderful. So very, very wonderful.

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

Here's a lovely Community gif by htbthomas that I feel aptly describes my mood right now. YAY ABED.



( SP-SP-SP-SPOILERS )

THAT'S RIGHT YOU GUYS! I WILL NO LONGER BE COMPLAINING ABOUT ANTHRO ANYMORE! I JUST PWNED THAT EXAM AND AND AND YAYYYYYY IT'S FINALLY OVER!

One essay, though, involved me pulling something out of my elbow that we hadn't ever mentioned in class ever...it was comparing some American worldview with a Japanese worldview and I knew all this stuff about Japan from my days as an anime/manga fangirl, so I was like Emeril and went BAMMMMMMM. Just like that only quieter, 'cause y'know. Can't yell in an exam room.

And it wasn't even our classroom. All 60 of us were crammed in the hallway outside our usual room and about seven minutes before the test is supposed to start Dr. Douglass shows up and goes to confront the group of people currently in our room but APPARENTLY THEY had a class. A little ridiculous. So we took it in the nice auditorium on the other side of the building. Weird.

Not starting Persian/chem studying until tomorrow morning, 'cause tonight I've got Glee catch-up, Bones, and Community! Yay Thursdays! =]

So tonight our head band director hosted a pre-exams/post-season holidays dinner at his house...basically he, Idzior and Koch (the assistant directors) were walking around in these cute holiday aprons...gah XD. Idzie's had this halfway-frilly light green and white plaid trim on the end and when he came over to talk to the tubas he was playing with it. A little adorable...y'know, in a funny kind of way.

And also basically it was like Thanksgiving all over again. But for serious, for about twenty minutes I felt like I was sitting in a Glee episode--WHICH I'M MISSING RIGHT NOW GUHHHH THANK YOU HULU FOR SAVING ME--because Ivan Rutherford, our director's best buddy on Broadway, was over too and playing piano and leading a sing-along. When our group was eating (it was in shifts 'cause there were so many people) he and everyone else that had gathered around were belting out Don't Stop Believin' and Eleanor Rigby and Hallelujah and some random other Broadway songs...yeah. It felt like Glee to me, and then I heard Alexa comment to Maria the same thing, lol.

Anthro exam tomorrow at 2. THEN I NEVER HAVE TO DO ANTHROPOLOGY EVER AGAIN YAY. But I haven't really studied all that much, which is probably a bad idea, but I'm beyond the point of caring about that class. I was beyond caring about two months ago.

GUH

Really tired. I don't want to study. Noooooooo *clings to Wilson the stuffed duck* don't make meeeeeeeeeee

Okay so today I was looking forward to today. Sort of.

I survived my last lecture of anthro. YAY never having to listen to Dr. Douglass ramble again. YAY for leaving her a scathing course review.

YAY for being totally caught up with Community, my House of comedy shows. I'm feeling myself becoming a wee bit obsessed, a little dangerous for a show in season one with just a cult following. (SO FOR SRS PEOPLE, WATCH IT! IT'S GOOD.)

But.

House 6x11 was pushed from January 11 to January 25. BOOO WHAT THE FUCK.
(Not 6x12...thanks bery!)

And then.

Callbacks for "Kafka's Dick" just went out. Didn't make it. Okay, so clearly when they said "you're really good," they were just trying to make me feel better about EPICALLY FAILING. I want to act so badly and I think I can do it if I just get the effing chance. But of course I went to a drama-kid-filled high school and a drama-kid-filled college where getting into a theater production is like, I dunno applying to MIT with failing grades in math and science.

Y'know, I'd like to be good at something just for once. I can play music, but I'm not very good. I can write, but that's progressively getting worse at it. I can draw, but it's just rough little doodles. I can do school, but my innate slowness at analyzing is catching up with my being able to memorize stuff easily. I don't have many friends because I suck at real life.

Can I watch House and Community for a living? 'Cause at this rate I'm not getting into med school, especially since it looks like I'm pulling a C for chem lab this semester. Not getting into anyplace with a grade that low, even though I worked my ass off for it.

HEY! HEY HEY HEY! GUESS WHAT I HAVE VIDS FOR YOU. THEY MAKE ME ROFL AND I HOPE THEY MAKE YOU ROFL TOO EVEN IF YOU DON'T WATCH COMMUNITY.

KRUMPING - TROY, ABED, AND JEFF STYLE




RIDICULOUS SPANISH RAP WITH ABED AND TROY




AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST - ABED AS BATMAN

Thanks bunches to fiery_twilight and bishojo_kitsune for the snowflake v-gifts!

*huggles*
^that's a fun word

So...why didn't I think of this before?

Bring laptop to class = not falling asleep.

Wow.

Sooo I'm trying my hand at auditioning for some play again, first time since that Shakespeare thing back in September, and this one is put on by the same theatre group...but it's not Shakespeare at all. If it so happens that the stars align and I don't fuck up again, then it's going to be fun explaining the name of the play to my parents.

"Kafka's Dick."

No, I'm not joking.

Stole these from somewhere...being secretive because of my ninja powers.

( Incredibly long meme is incredibly long )( Read more... )

I had a moment this afternoon. All the pressure of exams finally boiled over and the result was a particularly messy breakdown. Vi was out with one of her friends, Hillary and Ellen had gone to the U-Singers holiday concert, Erin was in her room and I thought she was working on her problem sets so I didn't want to bother her. I had called my parents just to talk but they gave me the usual, "study hard and then there's no reason to be anxious" spiel. Not helpful.

So I ran to my room and lost it.

And then I left a nasty mark on my arm after attacking it with a thumbtack (the only sharp thing in my room) for about fifteen minutes. No blood. Just a nasty mark.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

"You claim skill in every art
and knowledge of every science,
Yet you cannot even hear
what your own heart is telling you.

Until you can hear that simple voice
How can you be a keeper of secrets?
How can you be a traveller on this path?"
-Quatrain 729, by Rumi

Ummmmmm *points to above poem excerpt* does anyone else think that this is the perfect description of House? Ahhhhh I love Rumi. Not just because he wrote in Persian, but his poems are so pretty...*sighs happily/indulges hopeless romantic in me*

I love dailyrumi. It's def my favorite place to find his stuff. :)

IT'S STILL SNOWING YAY SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW SNOW

I'm kind of in the library (but in a seat with a perfect view of outside as a requirement) but I forgot my anthro books I needed to study with so I ran back to my dorm and the entire way I was pretty much walking with my head tilted right up at the sky, wandering around the sidewalk like a drunk and trying to catch snowflakes on my tongue. Yay being easily amused!

Yay for Ellen coming and rescuing me from my anthro studying so we can go see Hillary's chamber orchestra performance!

AND STILL YAY SNOW.

IT'S SNOWING

IT'S SNOWING

IT'S SNOWING

IT'S SNOWINGGGGGGGGG

YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

So I finally caught up with all this stuff WOO.

( SPOILERS  )( Read more... )

Basketball game last night was actually pretty awesome...AND WE WON WHOA. I almost forgot that we had other sports that did that.

Brown College decisions came out today...I didn't get in (oh well, my decision is officially easier), but my dear friend Katie was at the top of the list!!!! (BIG HUGE DEAL)

CONGRATULATIONS, KATIE!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT'S SO AWESOME!!!!!!!!!

Chem prof played with liquid nitrogen for the last lecture today. Ended up pouring it on his hands--"If I keep my fingers spread, then I won't get nasty frostbite, but ah, my hand still is really cold!"--and sticking a rubber tube from lab in it...half was still flexible, but half wasn't and he attacked it with a hammer ROFL. And at the end of class, we applauded him. *aw* I love him.

Okay okay okay so my next-to-last anthro class was more than a little embarrassing. Like there's half an hour left, most of the class is already past, and I've been way better than usual and paying attention and acutally taking a note or two and then I go WHATEVER and put my head down and fall asleep. Not my usual head-bobbing-still-can-hear-the-prof type of sleeping. No, I was OUT. A girl in front of me had to wake me up about five minutes after class ended. Prof was still in there, probably told her to. No doubt that Dr. Douglass hates me.

So then I was running really fast to get to Persian on time, where we had that last test before the final, and okay, so I could have studied what she outlined for us to study a little more (admittedly) HOWEVER it would not have helped. Excuse the term, but that test basically brain-raped the entire class. Nobody left until an hour had passed, and then we all waited for each other out in the hallway so we could all bitch together how terrible it was, or maybe it was just to reassure ourselves that we weren't the only ones that thought it was ridiculous. Basically Khanum pulled vocab off an invisible list that she never gave us. WTF. So yeah. Khoda hafez, good Persian grade. *harumph*

Basketball game tonight, women's team versus Purdue. Dunno what to expect since I'm not a huge basketball fan, but Tony and Ali will be there. =]

*sigh*

Classes could not end soon enough.